running thoughts

I ran today for the first time since about the last time I posted on here…hurray for revival of the fittest.  Running induced this overflow of endorphins and I felt them surf their way through those blood vessels, and I was on top of the world, I could run to McDonalds and back and resist the urge to splurge I felt so good. 

america the normal

The other day my friend sent me a link to an article about a study about how swearing makes pain more tolerable.  If true, this explains so much of who I am.

amen.

“Barack Obama has just become an international iconic figure.  There are a lot of pluses that go with that, but a lot of minuses that come with that.  There is a lot of pressure to live up to that iconic status.  And my prayer tonight for Senator Obama is again for his soul, that he doesn’t lose it, that he doesn’t sell it, that he doesn’t surrender it, that he holds onto the core essence of who he is because the pressure on iconic figures, I don’t think we can imagine.” -Tavis Smiley

its a hard knock life

Fall is here, a new season, old things are becoming new again. And new things are being birthed.

I have so many thoughts that I want to just spill out.  My heart is racing because I love. 

I love seeing Jesus in the stray kitten that graces our doorstep for but a day, just as if to stop by for a meal and a place to stay, then move along towards its destination. 

I love that our inheritance lies in giving water to someone who is thirsty, food to someone who is hungry, internet to someone who can now myspace every day.

I love being able to walk to the store and snatch a tasty pina colada paleta. 

I love having plexmates that care about justice and caring for the least of these.

I love playing Catch Phrase.

I love puns and crosswords, or even better– puns in crosswords.

I love being reminded of child-like faith through hugs from precious children that I do not even know and do not know me.

I love taking an 11:30 pm drive around town guided by a 20 year old “Dr Phil” carrying an illegal knife.

I love learning from this guardian and protector of his family how to gladly accept and receive his insistence on filling up my gas tank after our nighttime tour.

I love that the A side is (hopefully) becoming a hang out place for the towns’ g’s.

I love hanging out with kids that have experienced a side of life that I will never begin to understand.

I love that giving a jug of water to a house whose water is turned off is adding one piece to the Kingdom of God.

I love, after having wept and plead with God to stay true to His promises that He has not forgotten his children, remembering and believing that He is Lord over all the lords that seemingly reign on the rez and in kids’ lives. 

I hope that I will remember that the things that seem to rule in this world will one day fade away and disappear.  I hope I will remember and continue to believe that this world cannot fix itself.  That I cannot fix the world.  That no one can fix the world.  But that there is a greater hope–that there is one not of this world, who was in this world at one time, cast a vision of Truth , and gave authority to anyone who chooses to believe in that Truth to make sure that Truth was not forgotten.  To work towards something greater than themselves, knowing that their lives are not in vain.  That there is a Creator who has a plan, that simply requires requires three things: faith, hope, and love, the greatest of these being love. 

I hope that one day, everything that seems backwards and goes unnoticed will be recognized, ‘well done, good and faithful servant.’

a prayer for t-town

downtown

the always-tagged garage that greets our back entrance

local ‘ethnic’ cuisine….

the best handmade tortillas

quaint little thrift store

“Beneath the clouds is the ground we call sorrow.  This sorrow is our earth, the dust of the ground, the very substance of life.  Unlike clouds, it is solid and firm.  Beneath the earth are hidden reservoirs of water, and this water we call joy, a joy deeper than the happiness of the clouds.  But, this water may not come to the surface on its own.  Therefore, one must labor to dig the ground of sorrow in order to tap into joy.” – Hieromonk Damascene

..gimme an F!

Why is it so….therapeutic…to write on these damn blog things? Might as well be parading my most undesirable emotions on big white signs, written in block letters. That image does not unwind the inner workings of my soul, but blogging does? Yet they are in essence producing the same result. Oh well. The show must go on.

The school year is coming to and end. Only one more youth group left. And I’ll have successfully completed my intern year. It was harder than I thought to translate my experience into nice readable wordpress entries. For most of the time I felt like processing my experiences was akin to playing with those refrigerator poem magnets…

if i was not so weak…

..i would be..frail.

Two words have been the recent topics of discussion between God and I: fear and joy. For me, this fast has come at a good time. My intern leader I studied James 1, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds.” (James 1:2) But what is joy?

non-gluttonizing and the lacking of spirits

I am currently sitting in the kitchen of a house that I’m babysitting at…and I have to say that I feel the most relaxed than I have in a while.  I just looked to my right and found a Scholastic catalog!  Memories are flooding my mind now of when I used to comb through these catalogs with newspaper-like texture, checking off all the books that I would order if I could.  Anyway.  Its good to hang around kids.  I was reading to the kids the passage in Matthew that talks about storing treasures in heaven, and after reading vs 24 which says “No one can serve two masters,” the 3rd grader asks, “Then why do we have two parents?” I love it.  Its the simple things like this that lighten my weary spirit.

so this is the new year…

..and i don’t feel any different.

i guess that is a half-lie. or a half-truth. i dont usually do resolutions, but ive been thinking lately that, since i’ve graduated, i have to be a little more proactive about keeping up with my relationship with God. i think i’ve pretty much established that i want to have a relationship with Jesus that is growing in intimacy. i want to be proactive in getting tight with God, you know, like *this*..and trying hard to maintain it and grow in it. i want to learn more about things that God cares about, and i want to care about those things too. i don’t care what my occupation ends up being, but i want to live a life where God can say, ‘hey, youre alright in my book.’ i want to be able to love people like Jesus did. but i have a confession.

ministry update

I’ve been trying to use this new blog to keep track of my experience of living on the rez here as a ministry intern. But its hard sometimes to find stuff to say. Success is usually measured by productivity, or some sort of result. I started writing this post saying that I didn’t feel as if I had any significant stories to share, but how that was actually refreshing because of the amount of hope I had for this place, which led me to believe that the only source of my hope could be coming from God, because looking around me it didn’t make sense to have hope. I don’t have much grounds to say this on, but coming from people who have been with the ministry a lot longer than me, this is a difficult ministry. I don’t mean to say that as a comparison to other ministries, because ministry in general is just hard. But since this is all new to me, I think my reflections may be simple and still in the beginning processes of formation, but I think they are still valid.

Being here so far has been about 3 things…